| Tattoos, among other things. |
[Sunday
June 18th, 2006
01:38 am] |
I can't wait to start getting some tattoos. I have a couple planned.
First, I want to get my mom and pop's name written in a heart shape on my chest, where my heart is beneath it. It's going to say "James Porter" and "Beth" in Arabic on my chest. My parents have been through a lot with me and still love me and I respect them so much. Also, Arabic is such a beautiful looking language. It's so smooth and flowing.
Next, I'm going to get "Live, Love, Burn, Die" written across my shoulder blades, in reference to an Atreyu song called Lip Gloss and Black. It is talking about living life, loving as much as you can, burning with passion in everything you do, and dying knowing that you have lived as hard as you could.
After that, I think I will get the words "Hold me and tell me we will burn like stars, we'll burn as we fall to your cutting room floor!" It comes from an AFI song on the decemberunderground album. To me, it is another reference to passion and success, because movie stars are held in esteem like modern gods in our society. I think it will be wrapped around my left bicep, above where my tshirts sit.
I would also like to get a teble clef sign tattooed behind my left ear, because of the importance of music in my life.
I also have a plan, I don't know where it will go yet, but I'm going to get the names of anyone I've ever truly loved put on me sometime. This includes Paul, Heath, Chuck, Adam, Brenden, Aaron, David and Katie. That's it so far, but I'll have to leave room for more, cause I'm still young. My mom and pop are among the list, but they are on my heart so that's taken care of. I also realize that there only two girls on that list, but cut me a break.
I'm excited to get them, and I'm excited about working out some more so that there is a suitable canvas to put all this on.
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| Long time no see... |
[Tuesday
June 13th, 2006
03:53 pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 good |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Love Like Winter - AFI |
] |
So I was sitting at my desk one day and decided to update the ole' LJ.
Lots has been going on in my life as of late. I had a girlfriend for 11 months that I broke up with about two weeks ago.
It was kind of a mess :P. We're not talking right now but I think that after some time it will be alright. She had some issues and I was having a problem being with someone that didn't know if she wanted to be with me or not. She wanted to "see other people". Everything is cool now though.
I met another girl, she is really awesome. Her name is Kiara, she's a gymnast on the OU team. Coming from Los Angeles, she has a lot of different things to offer than most of the girls here. It's an odd deal we have going, because the relationship is anything but "normal". She acts like she has never been treated well by a boy in her life, and it's wierd to her. Of course, I am super-boyfriend ;), so it takes a little getting used to. lol.
Sprint sent me a new telephone, which is really exciting, cause it was totally free. I like being able to text message without connecting to the internet. I have a neat ringtone too. It's Miss Murder by AFI. Yeah, I'm one of the cool kids now.
I miss some of you kids on here, especially Bren and Allie. Sounds weird missing people you've never met, but I do.
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[Monday
November 21st, 2005
09:46 pm] |
So there is this band that I am going to try out for the frontman slot.
I am pretty excited.
They have been playing together for 3 years, so it will be pretty intimidating.
Wish me luck.
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[Saturday
November 12th, 2005
11:31 pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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emo / but really happy |
] |
I was thinking about stuff today.
Sarah and I drank the other night and I we were talking, eventually we got around to talking about "us", and a couple things stuck out in my mind. She wants to move really badly, I figured out this for real the other night. I don't blame her, I feel like my wheels are spinning too. She has a means to get out right now though and make something of herself. We talked about other stuff about us, and I made her promise me something.
That, no matter what, she would go to nursing school and become a nurse. She told me that she would definately try and that nursing school is hard to get into. I told her that she has to promise me she will do it, not try, and she just looked up at me with her big pretty eyes, and told me that is the very reason she likes me, is because I care. She told me that if that was her, she would be selfish and want me to stay. I didn't know really what to say, and she was drunk, so yanno.
but it meant a lot to me.
she means so much to me, and it's so different than ever before.
In other news, we went to see Hawthorne Heights, Silverstein, and Aiden last night. It was AWESOME. Especially Silverstein, for me :P Hawthorne Heights was actually really awesome, I didn't think they would be that great. They played some new songs from the forthcoming album, and if they were any indication, the new album will be really great. Aiden tore it up too, but we missed part of that set.
Tomorrow we are going to Tulsa to see Senses Fail. PS THAT IS GOING TO RULE.
I'm out kids, but I'll try to continue to update regularly.
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[Monday
October 31st, 2005
11:52 pm] |
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mood |
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 flirty |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Sidewalks - Story of the Year |
] |
Nothing makes me happier than making her happy.
Her smile is my sunrise.
:)
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| I've been a bad boy :( |
[Sunday
October 30th, 2005
04:44 am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 gloomy |
] |
There is a lot of uncertain thoughts in my head right now.
I suppose it may help if I start with the story about how my evening went awry.
Sarah, Paul, Kasi and I went to a party at one of Sarah's friend's houses. It was fun and we stayed there for a while. We then went to our house to get some directions to another party. That one was closed down so we went to another one that Aaron's friends were having. This was a bad idea.
There was a guy there that would just not leave Sarah alone. He was standing all close to her and she was being mean to him and told him that she had a boyfriend, and I was standing right there. I tried to make it clear that I was her boyfriend too, but the dude was drunk and would not leave her alone. Sarah was drunk too, and didn't feel too well.
Eventually, Sarah was sitting in the kitchen and I was trying to comfort her or something and she slapped my hand away and when I tried to touch her face, she pulled away, but it was because she was drunk and I don't know why she did it. She wanted to go to the car and for some reason I was upset with her and just took the keys out of my pocket and dropped them on the table and she got really upset and kinda hurt at that. I went outside and she was upset with me so we argued a little and were walking to the car. I then accused her of having that guy be all up on her and she started to cry really hard. I chased her around and she didn't want me to touch her or talk to her, but I wanted to apologize. Then that same guy that would not leave her alone chased her too and I wanted to knock him out. He acted like he didn't know she was my girlfriend. I wanted to fuck him up so much, but I was busy. She hates being yelled at more than anything, and I yelled at her. I felt my heart sink tonight.
Sarah and I sat a talked and I apologized, felt like I was less than dirt and took her home, all with tears in her precious little eyes.
I just finished talking to her on AIM and we talked about some things that were bothering her. Seems to be that she thinks there is a little too much in the relationship, and she is scared to enter into anything serious. Before, she was going to move in December and we couldn't be serious if we wanted to, but now she is thinking about going to school here for a bit longer, and feels that we are going a little too far into the relationship.
We are getting really close, even more than before, and she says I make her really happy, but in the same vein, we are going into a relationship she isn't ready for. She was in a very serious, almost married relationship before, and he hurt her really bad. She is not that girl that will let the last boyfriend ruin her for the next, and she isn't blaming me for the mistakes he made, but she is understandably scared about being so close.
I think I may have done something wrong in being so forward with my feelings for her. I am very happy with her and would consider being with her for a while. However, I don't want to run off and get married and babies and all of that. I am just really happy when we are together.
I shouldn't have told her that she means so much to me, because it makes it seem that it is more serious than she wants.
She is more than my girlfriend, she is among my best friends, and I have noticed that as you grow up, close friends become more and more rare. It would be very hard to be going back from this relationship to more of a "friendly" thing. I want her in my life, but I am afraid that she may tell me that we can't be together.
I feel so strongly about her, it can't be fake. I thought I was in love before, but that was nothing compared to this. I am sure I have said that before, but there is a feeling inside that she is special. Not necissarily the "one", but she is very important. The difference is that with Sarah, I want to be a better person. I want to be nicer to people, especially if they have wronged me. She makes me hold my tongue, because I want to be the best man I can be for her.
She simply makes me want to be a better person.
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[Tuesday
September 27th, 2005
09:31 pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 excited |
] |
Sarah and I got a puppy.
It's adorable. It is a beagle mix, and I think we have named it Isabelle, with Izzie for short.
I'll try to put up some pictures soon.
We are excited: it's our first child.
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[Thursday
September 22nd, 2005
12:52 am] |
Not much is going on as of late. It appears that no one really reads this journal anymore, but not a big deal. It's mine, so I'll write in it :)
I have been hanging out with Sarah a lot, she is pretty awesome, still. I have a good time with her all the time. Today I went and got some groceries for her. I'm a sweet guy, I'm told. She's pretty much the best girl ever.
Oh, and my brakes are out. That sucks. I have to replace them really soon and have my oil changed.
In other news, I have a new job. I sell cologne at Dillard's. It is pretty rad, but kinda boring. I just stand around all day and don't really do much. They pay me $9 an hour and give me free cologne and stuff. I like the people I work with too, so it's cool. The easier your job is, the more they pay you. I've decided :)
The band isn't really working out lately. Adam bailed on us, but it's something he had to do. I am going to try to get it back together, we have to practice soon or we will not start it again.
Not much else to report...this and that, you know.
I'm out.
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[Tuesday
August 30th, 2005
01:00 am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 blah |
] |
So it's been a long while since my last update.
The band is taking off, we found a drummer and started writing songs. The only problem is that the two guitar players both want to play really light, airy and bright type of stuff and I want to play more aggressive, screamo type music. I don't really know what to say to describe it, but suffice it to say that I want to sound more like Senses Fail, Silverstein, Thrice and Underoath, and the other guys want to sound more like Blink 182, The Starting Line, and Motion City Soundtrack. Not exactly a good combination. I am having a really hard time writing lyrics for the music they come up with, because it is all so light and airy. They are putting a lot of pressure on me to write some lyrics, and I have a notebook full of lyrics, but I simply can't write or make anything fit with this type of music.
I just need to sit down and talk with them, let them know that I want something more aggressive. They know I want to play something harder, but they are thinking I want hardcore, screaming metal, which is not the case.
It is just really depressing that this thing I want so bad and that I've worked hard for isn't working.
Also, I really hate my job more and more as time goes on. I was sorely tempted to just up and walk out today. I just loathe it so much. Since the band isn't making me feel better, then the job is sucking more and more.
On an up note, Sarah and I are closer than ever. She is amazing, and I adore ever minute with her. She is really super. I wish she weren't leaving me in December. She is definately going to break my heart. but in a good way? I guess, because I will still want to be with her, but it won't be possible because of her moving away.
I try not to think about it, and just writing this is making me want to stop and not think of all the stuff that is getting me down.
I'll be okay, but I hope I can catch a break soon. I think I am long overdue for one.
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[Monday
July 25th, 2005
08:05 pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 energetic |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Funeral For a Friend - Recovery |
] |
So I ordered a microphone this weekend.
I figured I needed one, because I am tired of singing into my hand, and we are going to be playing an acoustic show around the 26th of August, assuming everything goes according to plan :)
I'm excited.
There was a dude on Myspace that sent me a message about needing a band. I hope it works out, cause it would be really rad if he were badass and cool. He should be sending me some of the stuff he's written soon. I hope it works out, because once we find a drummer, it will pretty much fall into place, because bass is easy as hell :)
Wish me luck.
I hope all you kids are doing great.
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[Sunday
July 24th, 2005
07:28 pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 cheerful |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Senses Fail - Slow Dance |
] |
We had Sarah's 23rd birthday party last night. It was so much fun :)
My old buddy from high school, Heath, came up and we partied hard. He is in the Marines and he is about to return to Iraq. We drank and lot and just hung out.
First it was Joe's Crab Shack. It was really great. Sarah looked so amazing :o
Then we returned to her house and had a party. I did 11 beer bongs and then paul and heath decided to jump out of the loft window in Jen's room onto the sofa in the living room. It was funny as hell. I almost peed when they did that. I walked around a lot with my dick and balls hanging out. It was funny.
I ordered a microphone yesterday, so I don't have to sing into my hand when we play now. It's going to be a lot better when I can really practice and hear myself. We still need a drummer and a bass player, but I'm optimistic about it. I am probably going to write some tonight, I just feel it :D
Paul and I finished training at our jobs, I'm really glad. No more mornings at 6:30am!
Everything is going really well.
I hope it is the same for you kids.
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| New pictures from Kasi's birthday party last weekend :) |
[Friday
July 15th, 2005
08:05 pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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excited |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Funeral for a Friend - Alvarez |
] |
We had a brithday party for Kasi last weekend. It was really fun, except for a bunch of stupid rednecks who were there. Sarah got really really blitzed and I took care of her :)
Tonight we are going to get a little drunk and go pick up our copies of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. I'm so excited.
Sarah and I are still perfect. She is amazing.
The band has a website!! www.noplaceforangels.bravehost.com
And a myspace account: www.myspace.com/noplaceforangels
Go sign our guestbook! We hope to have some music up soon.
( Good times at Adam's place. )
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[Saturday
July 2nd, 2005
08:05 pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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energetic |
] |
I'm just counting down the time until I get to see her tonight.
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[Saturday
July 2nd, 2005
02:58 pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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cheerful |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Senses Fail - The Ground Folds |
] |
Guys.
Everything here is so rad. Norman has been so good to me.
Adam, Paul and I have been playing a lot. I play the bass now. It's really fun. Soon, I hope, I'm going to get a PA and a microphone so we can rock out with some vocals. I've trying to write some more lately, but I haven't really been able to. I have a couple things in mind that I want to write about, but it's kinda having to wait until we have some music. We really need a drummer badly. Then we can start tearing it up. I'm so excited, cause my dreams are coming true!
Sarah and I are going really well. She is almost just like me...We have such good times together, and she isn't afraid to be nice, to tell me how she feels and to be the best girlfriend ever.
We went to the bar last night, I had given plasma that afternoon, and I didn't really think of it until I was already there :P I was pretty drunk when I left. Giving plasma is such a good deal when you drink...because you get drunk really fast, and they give you money to buy it with! lol
I drank a Grolsch and Sarah ordered me a shot of Blue Balls :P It was pretty stout...151 and Blue Curaco.
That girl is spoiling me hard. She stayed with me last night and it was so hard to get out of bed this morning for work.
Everything is so awesome lately. I hope all you kids are having great times too.
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[Tuesday
June 28th, 2005
11:59 pm] |
Everything is going so awesome. We are practicing a lot, and Sarah is my girlfriend now :D
I'm stoked. Our music is taking off and I have a woman lol.
I haven't had a real girlfriend in like two years.
You should see her smile. I can turn off all the lights and still see her smiling in the dark. It's crazy how we just met not too long ago, and I'm already adoring this girl.
She and I are very similar...might cause problems lol.
For now we are probably just going to be the best couple around, especially since we are both givers. She was teasing about spoiling me today.
Wow, I hope that all you kids are having such wonderful days too :D
<3
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[Tuesday
June 28th, 2005
01:12 am] |
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mood |
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 giddy |
] |
I have a girlfriend.
:D :D
I have a lot to update about tomorrow. It's sleepy time now though.
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[Wednesday
June 22nd, 2005
11:35 am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 happy |
] |
So the last couple days have been absolutely fabulous.
On Monday Paul, Adam, Sarah, Kasi, Tracie, and I went to go see Halifax at the Green Door. It was beyond rad. Five bands played and only the first one was bad :P Over It was really good, they tore it up and the new album is awesome. A Thorn for Every Heart was way better live than I anticipated. I figured that they would suck. Halifax blew the place up though. It was so awesome. Adam, Paul and I started a pit during a couple of the sets and eventually we had some people join in. It was a great time and one hell of a show.
Afterwards, we are hanging out and talking with the guys in the bands, and this dude comes up to me and asks "What band are you in?" :O Not "are you in a band" but "what band are you in".
He started talking to me and said he runs Bitemark Entertainment, the group that got Halifax and all the other bands booked there that night. He asked for my number and the band name, and Adam, Paul and I talked to him for a bit. He said he will book us in a show when we get ready!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Can you imagine my excitement? I almost peed.
Things with Sarah are progressing very well :D I really like her, and it's pretty great that she likes me too. I was over at her house last night and we went on some errands, then we went on the search for Cheetos cheese balls. I don't think they make them anymore, because neither walmart nor albertsons had them. She wanted me to try cheese puffs and chocolate pudding. So I did. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, but it wasn't that great either. We went back to her place and hung out with her roommate, Jen. Later on we just watched some tv and cuddled on the sofa...she fell asleep in my arms as I played with her hair, and I asked her if she wanted to go on an actual date sometime. She said that she would love to :)
There was a kiss at the end. :)
I'm such a girl.
Everything is pretty awesome.
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| Who wants to see the girl? |
[Monday
June 20th, 2005
05:49 pm] |
| [ |
music |
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Green Day -Scattered |
] |
Sure you do.
This is Sarah.
We watched a movie last night.
I woke up next to her. It was great.
She likes chocolate pudding and cheeto balls mixed together. That's gross but I like her anyway.
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[Sunday
June 12th, 2005
03:39 pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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good |
] |
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music |
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Halifax - A Writer's Reference |
] |
So I bonged eight beers last night. It was pretty awesome.
Paul wandered off. He had seven. We also were drinking before the bonging and I drank between bongs cause I'm hardcore.
Kevin had eight too.
It was a hell of a great night.
:D <3
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